A new love

Today is a special day, since I'm celebrating the life of that being that came into my life filling me with happiness. Back then I asked myself how my life was going to be. Everything changed in a second, I wasn't that independent woman anymore.

I imagined how she was going to look like, her hair, her eyes, her skin, her voice, her personality. I thought of the uncertain future that was awaiting me.

From the first second of life she needed me, to breath, to feel, to live. All of my feelings I was sharing them with someone who I did not know yet, I was talking to somebody who didn't know my language.

I discovered a new way love, a love that's spontaneous, pure, a love that's different. I understood for the first time that maternal love I never had. I started to feel God nearer me, I felt Him inside me, with every heartbeat, with every movement. I thought of how perfect nature can be that is capable of producing everything it needs; I'm certain now of the existence of that Immense Entity that gave me the greatness of life and bringing life.

I thought then what would happen to me, to my body, to my way of thinking, to my point of view, what would happen to my way of understanding things, of my way of loving. Little by little I've been finding the answers, now I see through a different point of view, I'm more rational, more mature, more Woman.

I think of how unbelievable is that metamorphosis, how a simple cell turned into some body so important, a being that got formed from every part of me, of what I am. I stared at her perfection, a being so vulnerable that still depended on me.

I still remember her heartbeat, so strong, so fast, her tiny eyes that seemed asleep all the time, her tiny and fragile arms embracing her body, her little fingers that could barely hold mine. She seemed to understand my feelings, when I smiled, when I cried, when I was angry. Many times I asked myself if she could hear, if she could feel me.

Doubts and fear came to my life, but I was never alone. She was with me everywhere I went, even in my dreams. Then I was anxious for her arrival to her new world, that moment when we touched for the first time, when we saw each other the first time, that moment so important when I held her in my arms. I was filled with so much love that I forgot about my weariness. I wanted to stare at her all day, when she was breathing, when she was sleeping, when she woke up and looked at me as if trying to tell me something, that something that only I could understand.

My life is now one filled with emotions, when she smiled for the first time, when she made her first expresion, when she said "Mom" the first time I didn't know if to cry or laugh, when I opened my eyes again she was already walking, she had now complete personality. Each day I realized how valuable is time.

I thank God for giving me the privilege of bringing life filling me at the same time with more life, for giving me the opportunity of loving without limits.

I thank God each second for the life of my daughter, for giving me the chance of watching her grow up and live.

I thank Him for giving me the joy of being a Mother.

By Sandra Falcon