A new love

Today is a special day, since I'm celebrating the life of that being that came into my life filling me with happiness. Back then I asked myself how my life was going to be. Everything changed in a second, I wasn't that independent woman anymore.

I imagined how she was going to look like, her hair, her eyes, her skin, her voice, her personality. I thought of the uncertain future that was awaiting me.

From the first second of life she needed me, to breath, to feel, to live. All of my feelings I was sharing them with someone who I did not know yet, I was talking to somebody who didn't know my language.

I discovered a new way love, a love that's spontaneous, pure, a love that's different. I understood for the first time that maternal love I never had. I started to feel God nearer me, I felt Him inside me, with every heartbeat, with every movement. I thought of how perfect nature can be that is capable of producing everything it needs; I'm certain now of the existence of that Immense Entity that gave me the greatness of life and bringing life.

I thought then what would happen to me, to my body, to my way of thinking, to my point of view, what would happen to my way of understanding things, of my way of loving. Little by little I've been finding the answers, now I see through a different point of view, I'm more rational, more mature, more Woman.

I think of how unbelievable is that metamorphosis, how a simple cell turned into some body so important, a being that got formed from every part of me, of what I am. I stared at her perfection, a being so vulnerable that still depended on me.

I still remember her heartbeat, so strong, so fast, her tiny eyes that seemed asleep all the time, her tiny and fragile arms embracing her body, her little fingers that could barely hold mine. She seemed to understand my feelings, when I smiled, when I cried, when I was angry. Many times I asked myself if she could hear, if she could feel me.

Doubts and fear came to my life, but I was never alone. She was with me everywhere I went, even in my dreams. Then I was anxious for her arrival to her new world, that moment when we touched for the first time, when we saw each other the first time, that moment so important when I held her in my arms. I was filled with so much love that I forgot about my weariness. I wanted to stare at her all day, when she was breathing, when she was sleeping, when she woke up and looked at me as if trying to tell me something, that something that only I could understand.

My life is now one filled with emotions, when she smiled for the first time, when she made her first expresion, when she said "Mom" the first time I didn't know if to cry or laugh, when I opened my eyes again she was already walking, she had now complete personality. Each day I realized how valuable is time.

I thank God for giving me the privilege of bringing life filling me at the same time with more life, for giving me the opportunity of loving without limits.

I thank God each second for the life of my daughter, for giving me the chance of watching her grow up and live.

I thank Him for giving me the joy of being a Mother.

By Sandra Falcon

Why are we the way we are?

After picking up my daughter...

While driving in my car to my house I see the vagabond asking for money , a young guy, as young as the one who just graduated from high school, with his bare feet, the clothes pretty dirty he looks at me and waves his paper cup, I say No. Then I look forward and I see this car crossing the red traffic light, and then I think: "this people just don't love themselves!" I keep on going, I stop at the next red light and at my right I see this kid jumping in the front seat of the car.

Getting almost home, a group of teenagers leaning in their cars stare at me as if they've never seen a woman in their short life. Finally I get home and the windows vibrate at the astounding rhythm of the neighbor's music.

I turn on the TV and all I see is violence, sex, unfaithfulness.

After dinner I wash the dishes, bathe my daughter and send her to sleep, my day ends.

It's already dawn, on my way to work I see the newspaper salesman, standing up the whole day under the sun, sometimes under the rain, to earn just a "few bucks". Nobody wants to let me pass, cars driving in opposite direction to avoid traffic jam, not one police man at the sight. Finally I get to work: "good morning", "hi", "how are you?". I get to my desk, in the newspaper: "A total of 6 car accidents taking the lives of 11 people in just one day", "A man commits suicide after killing his wife and her lover", "A boy was found dead with multiple bruises on his body", concert of famous artist, "Fraud in well-known company", "$10,000 on drugs confiscated by police"...etc, etc.

In the office, that woman at the phone smiles, is she in love? The other one is reading the newspaper and speaking out loud, who is he talking to? Other employee is working as if he had to finish the work of two days in two hours. The day goes on, people are talking in a low voice so nobody can hear, I see sad and serious faces and others seem to be always happy. People drinking coffee to release the stress, the other is complaining because the paper got jammed in the photocopier. At the end of the day a huge mass of employees are waiting at the exit ready to go, outside at the parking lot everybody start their cars and go as if somebody was going to pay the first one to get home.

And again, at the road the vagabond asking for money, the one that crosses on a red light.

In what world are we living!?

You hear that person telling his child he loves him and hugs him, and when he gets into the car accelerates without thinking he has a child at the back seat. Some people tell you not to smoke because it's harmful, and at the end of the week they go and poison their bodies with alcohol. Others tell you to organize your life and their houses are a mess, how many women say that don't have money to pay their phone bill but visit every month the beauty salon to get their hair and nails done. People say that they can barely support a living but technically live at the mall. Many people tell you to live your life day by day; others tell you to keep present your future.

A kid can barely walk because he's overweight, exhausted hurries to go sit down, hm! And then his mother says that her kid is just big, and then you hear her talking in shock about child abuse.

We are so into our every-day routine that we take for granted what happens in our surroundings, criminality, abuse, prejudice, evil. Why do we insist on keeping this kind of lifestyle? Why not to wake up every morning and think: "Today I'm going to try to do things the right way, to be a good human being, better than yesterday". How many people live their lives focusing only in their material ambitions and forget to live the present time, when they realize how much time they've lost is too late.

Why not driving with courtesy without hurries, after all, it could cost us our life. Get to work and mind our own business not every body else's, without envy, hard feelings, live our own lives. And then dedicate quality time at home, with our family. Teach our children real values, to not to be afraid to be weak, not to be proud for being strong, to laugh if he wants to, to cry if he feels like it, not to be embarrassed of expressing his feelings, to earn the things before receiving them, to fight for it, don't give him everything. Why not better stay quiet when bad critics come to your mind.

How many times we complain about the life we have? In such a hurry, because the phone won't stop ringing at the office, because it starts to rain when you're about to go out, because you got to rush to pick up the kids, because "look at the time I haven't eaten yet".

How many times we thank God? Because we have a car to go places, because we have a roof to protect us from sun and bad weather, because we can eat every day even when we're not hungry. Because we have good health and are able to go to work. Because we've got a variety of fun stuff to do to not get bored.

How many times we thank God for life itself?

And yet I still ask myself...

Why are we the way we are?

By Sandra Falcon

Be Happy


Life is so precious you can't sit down and wait for things to come to you, especially happiness, happiness is what keeps your life meaningful and worthy. Days come and go and are filled with challenges and obstacles, but you have to keep on walking no matter how narrow or hard the road may be.

As life goes on you'll find it more and more complicated, more difficult, but that's how is supposed to be, it's your mission to go through it and fight and don't give up, just don't let negative thoughts affect your life, nobody knows what the future holds until they get there, live everyday in the present, do what your heart feels and go with your instincts remembering always to keep your feet on the ground, grab on to your feelings and let Him guide your way.

Life is full of risks and this is something you have to deal with everyday, even on the simplest situation. Don't let these risks stop you from being happy and successful, at the end they make your conquer more valuable.

People around you that care about you will try to protect you and give you advice, listen to them but also listen to your heart, you are the only person responsible for your own happiness, nobody else but you know better what makes you happy. Your life is full of experiences, good and no-so-good relationships, but these experiences make you grow as a person. Maybe you'll find that what was making you happy at the end is not the right thing for you. But what if it is? You'll never know if you don't try.

You can't stop your life and keep wondering what it could be for not knowing what is going to happen tomorrow, life is too beautiful to let it slip away from your hands so easily.

You have your dreams that keep alive your reason to keep trying, go for them.
When it comes to make happy other people, you have to make yourself happy first.

Pray and ask Him to let you see the way, He knows what is right for you, just trust in Him and let happen what is meant to be.

I believe that in life everything happens for a reason and we may never know why. Happiness is everything, you may have money and security all you've ever wanted, but if you're not happy, you're not going to enjoy what you've got.

Remember that people and things don't just happen by coincidence; they have a purpose in your life, treasure them and make your life the best of it.

And the most important of all things:

BE HAPPY

Sandra

Dedicated to my friend and Sis' in Law, Sharon

El Padre Perfecto

Cuando vine al mundo Tu estabas allí, Tu me mantuviste a salvo de camino a mi hogar, no te conocía entonces pero Tú ya sabías quién yo era y el tipo de persona que iba a ser. Te aseguraste que hubieran personas a mi alrededor para cuidar de mí, Me cachaste cada vez que caí he hiciste de mi caída una menos dolorosa.

Me ví forzada a crecer más rápido que los demás, la mayor parte del tiempo aprendiendo las cosas de la manera difícil, la soledad era acompañante. Muchas veces te cuestioné sobre mi vida y por qué tuve que sufrir tanto y sentirme tan infelíz, estaba perdida caminando por un largo trecho con panoramas borrosos, tratando de mirar hacia atrás buscando respuestas a mis preguntas pero todo lo que encontraba eran vagas memorias de mi pasado. No sabía a dónde ir o qué buscar a quien admirar pero todo el tiempo Tú estuviste allí, esperando por mí, que te buscara, te pasé por el lado y no te ví.

Corrí a través de la vida con mis ojos cubiertos, algunas veces terminando donde había comenzado y cayendo en el suelo sintiendo las espinas enterrandose en mi corazón, busqué en todas partes y me pregunté dónde estabas pero nunca te encontré, estaba buscando en los lugares equivocados, desde lejos Tú me observabas. Trataste de mostrarme una manera más fácil pero no me permití verlo, trataste de decirme por dónde ir pero no te escuché, colocaste personas en mi vida con un propósito pero las ignore, me enviaste señales con mensajes importantes, pero yo estaba mirando hacia el otro lado, las dejé pasar. Sentí un gran vacío dentro de mí y lloré noche tras noche muchas veces sin saber por qué.

Un día en el lugar menos esperado Te encontré, Señor, en mi corazón. Tú haz borrado de mí las lágrimas y enjuagado con ellas mi alma, me ayudaste a aclarar mi mente y me hiciste entender la simplicidad de la vida y aún asi la perfección de la misma, y por primera vez mi vista ya no estaba borrosa, las espinas se fueron desvaneciendo una por una, poco a poco las fuiste sacando todas de mi corazón. Por primera vez cerré mis ojos y pude ver el camino y comenzé a andar en un trecho firme, no había rocas en mi paso, una vista colorida rodeada el lugar entero y no podia dejar de sonreir, me convertí en una persona con más fortaleza, encontré la felicidad.

Ahora estoy confidente de que fuiste Tú quien no permitió que me derrumbara, que todas esas noches obscuras y solitarias Tú estuviste allí cuidándome, que no importa cuanto me alejé de Ti Tú nunca te olvidaste de mí.

Tú siempre me haz respetado; te preocupas por mí, eres estricto y firme pero aún puedes ser sutil y comprensivo, Tú eres fiel.

Te doy gracias por todo lo que tengo, por todo lo que he conquistado en la vida, por todas las experiencias por las que he pasado, ellas me han hecho la persona que soy. Ahora sé una manera más fácil, ahora sé por dónde ir, ahora tengo a quién admirar.

Tú eres mi fortaleza, Tú estas en mis pensamientos a donde quiera que voy, Tú eres todo lo que yo necesito…..

Tú eres el Padre Perfecto…… Amén

Sandra Falcón

Live your life today, tomorrow may be too late.

Sé Agradecido

Hoy es un nuevo día, te sales de la cama, te lavas los dientes y lavas tu cara, vas a la cocina y te haces un café caliente y unas tostadas, o quizás te vas directo a la ducha y entonces te vistes para ir al trabajo.

Estas en un tapón de tráfico, esperando que no llueva porque apenas lavaste el carro ayer, llamando a alguien por el celular para desahogar tu estrés y preocupaciones. Algunas veces también para compartir un momento exitante de tu vida, como cuando te compraste un carro o cuando compraste tu primera casa, o hasta cuando encontraste en la tienda aquello que tanto querias a un buen precio.

Durante el día estas tan ocupado con todo el trabajo en la oficina que no tienes tiempo de llamar a nadie, pero como quieras tomas unos minutos para ver si tienes mensajes en tu email.

Al final del día estas bien cansado. Llegas a la casa, te das un buen baño y comes algo de cenar; mientras tanto ves las noticias para ver que esta pasando en el resto del mundo.
De vez en cuando discutes con la gente y te sientes desesperado porque ellos no te entienden, y te preguntas cómo ellos no pueden ver lo que tu ves. Cómo es posible que ellos hagan las cosas de la manera en que lo hacen? Otras veces te sientes ahogado de personas y te quejas de que no tienes tiempo para ti mismo, que necesitas “espacio”.

Te preocupas de tu apariencia, te aseguras de lucir bien todo el tiempo.
Limpias y compras cosas para tu “lugar” para hacerlo ver nítido y perfecto, y si hay algo que no te gusta lo sacas de alli o lo cambias.

Estas tan ocupado con tantas cosas que te pierdes de las cosas que realmente son importantes, momentos que suceden solo una vez en la vida.
Alguna vez haz pensado cómo sería tu vida si te levantaras un día porque tienes tanto frío y no tienes una sábana para cubrirte, y que tu refrigerador estuviera vacío, que tuvieras que caminar para ir a trabajar?

Esperando que no llueva porque de otro modo te empaparias, que no tuvieras modo de comunicarte con la gente que esta lejos de ti y poder compartir tus preocupaciones y momentos alegres.

Cómo sería si llegaras a tu hogar bien cansado y no tuvieses agua para bañarte y tuvieras que irte hambriento a la cama porque no hubiese comida sobre la mesa, que no superias lo que esta pasando en el resto del mundo?

Cómo te sentirias si no tuvieras a nadie con quien hablar, dispuesto a hacer cualquier cosa solo por tener a alguien a tu lado, necesitando sentir el calor de gente alrededor tuyo?
Hay tanta gente alrededor del mundo, como nosotros, pero que no tienen nada ni a nadie, gente que tienen que caminar a donde quiera que van, gente que harian lo que fuera solo por tener un pedazo de pan para comer y alguna ropa para cubrirse. Gente que duermen alla afuera bajo la lluvia y lo unico que pueden hacer es rezar para que la lluvia se vaya.

Gente que ni siquiera entienden o conocen lo que es el amor y no pueden ni pensar en disfrutar los buenos momentos si alguno porque su hambre y las circunstancias no se lo permiten.

Y todavia piensas que la vida es injusta contigo………
La vida no es solo estudiar y obtener grados y comprar un gran carro o tremendas
casas, no es todo sobre conseguirse buena ropa y lucir bien.
Es acerca de compartir y apreciar a las personas y los momentos que pueden suceder en un segundo pero perduran el resto de la vida.

Cuantas veces le haz dado gracias a El porque tu nevera esta llena de comida? Comida que a veces ni siquiera te la comes y terminas botando.
Cuantas veces le haz dado gracias a El por el carro que tienes?
Cuantas vecez le haz dado graciasa El por tu trabajo? Porque aun cuando no te guste mucho pero puedes comprar las cosas que necesitas…gracias a tu trabajo.
Cuantas veces le haz dado gracias a El por tu salud?

Cuantas veces le haz dicho a alguien que lo amas?
Cuantas veces le haz agradecido a esa persona por algo que hizo aun cuando no lo hizo de la misma forma en que tu lo haces?
Cuantas veces haz hecho algo por amor para alguien, sin esperar nada a cambio?
Cuantas veces haz ido afuera y observado la luz del sol entre las nubes, el cielo, los árboles y apreciado las maravillas de la naturaleza?
Cuantas veces haz detenido lo que estas haciendo solo por ir con esa persona, tu hijo, tu otra mitad, y compartido con él unos minutos, y lo haz observado, y lo haz abrazado con tus ojos cerrados?

Cuantas veces le haz dado gracias a Dios por tu propia vida?
El tiempo vuela y no te das cuenta, no aprecias a las personas que estan contigo todo el tiempo, todas las cosas que tienes, cosas que ni siquiera necesitas.

Desafortunadamente no puedes detener el tiempo ni puedes ir al pasado y arreglar o cambiar las cosas, y ciertamente no puedes cambiar a las personas.

Mucha gente piensa y cree que para tener una vida de signicado y propósito hay que tener una carrera, tener una buena vida económica y convertirse en “alguien” dentro de la sociedad, y para complementar sus vidas entonces piensan en amor y familia. Dedican la mayor parte del tiempo en su trabajo y tratando de mantener su “buena vida”, y si les sobra el tiempo y no estan muy cansados pasan tiempo con sus seres queridos. Concentran sus vidas tanto en cosas que solo son….materiales…que al final del camino se encuentran solos porque se han olvidado de esa persona especial, porque no se preocuparon suficientemente de apreciar lo que tenian, y lo mas triste es que la mayor parte del tiempo cuando esas personas realizan lo que han perdido, ya es muy tarde.
Trabajos, casas, carros y todo lo demas juegan una parte importante en tu vida, si los pierdes todavia puedes reponerlos, pero si pierdes a alguien, no lo puedes reemplazar, ni su amor ni el tiempo perdido, entonces solo tendras las memorias…

Hoy cuando llegues a tu hogar, en vez de decir que estas cansado e irte directo al cuarto, solo pon las cosas a un lado y ve y dale un beso y un abrazo a quienes amas, en vez de quejarte de algo y señalar a alguien cuando no han hecho algo en la casa, miralos y ve en su interior quienes son, aprecia lo que hacen, si sabes que has herido a alguien deja a un lado tu orgullo y di que lo sientes, perdonalos por sus errores pues son tan solo humanos, como tú. Esta noche cuando vayas a la cama antes de irte a dormir cierra tus ojos y agradecele a Dios por el día, porque llegaste a casa vivo, dale gracias por todo lo que tienes. Mañana cuando te levantes antes de comenzar el día dale un beso otra vez a esa persona que esta a tu lado aun si esta dormido todavía, si tienes hijos ve y dile cuan importantes son en tu vida, ellos apreciaran mas esos pocos minutos contigo sabiendo que pueden contar contigo que las cosas que les compres.
Durante el día toma aunque sea uno o dos minutos para llamar a esa persona especial para saludarle. Ayuda a tus amigos cuando necesiten a alguien.

Si solo pudieras ver las cosas buenas y apreciarlas más y te preocuparas menos de las cosas negativas….la vida sería tan diferente.

La vida es muy preciosa y llena de tantas cosas materiales, pero sin esas personas que comparten sus vida con la tuya, seria una vida vacia.
Yo no sé qué pasará mañana, yo no sé si hoy será el ultimo día en que vea la luz, yo no sé si perderé a alguien que amo pronto, no sé si viviré hasta que sea anciana y pueda ver a mis nietos, lo único que sé es que ahora mismo estoy viva y saludable y que tengo personas alrededor mio que de un modo u otro se preocupan por mí y otras personas que aunque no estan conmigo pero piensan en mí, y a todas esas personas quiero dejarles saber que tambien me preocupo por ellos y que los amo.
Lo único que sé es que ahora mismo quiero vivir mi vida a plenitud y disfrutar cada momento que pueda antes de que sea muy tarde.

A toda mi familia y amigos.

Sandra


Live your life today, tomorrow may be too late.

Be Thankful


Today is a new day, you get out of bed, brush your teeth and wash your face, go to the kitchen and make yourself a hot coffee and some toasts, or maybe you go direct to the shower and then get dressed to go to work.
You're on a traffic jam hoping that it doesn't rain because you just washed your car yesterday, calling somebody on the cell phone to let out all your stress and worries, sometimes also to share a very exciting moment of your life, like when you got a new car, or when you bought your first house, or even when you just found at the store that thing you wanted so much at a great price.
During the day you are so busy with all the work at the office that you don't have time to call anybody, but still you manage to take a few minutes to see if you got any messages on your e-mail.
By the end of the day you're very tired. You get home, get a nice shower and have dinner; meanwhile you watch the news to see what's happening on the rest of the world.

Every now and then you argue with people and feel desperate because they don't understand you, and you wonder how they can't see what you see. How is it possible that they do things the way they do? Other times you feel drowned by people and complain that you don't have time for yourself, that you need a "break".

You worry about your appearance; you make sure you look great all the time.

You clean and buy things for "your place" to make it look neat and perfect, and if there is something you don't like you put it away or change it.
You are so busy with so many things that you miss the things that are really important, moments that happen just one time in your life.

Have you ever thought what your life would be if you wake up one day because you're so cold and have no blanket to cover yourself, and go to the fridge and it was empty, that you had to walk to go to work?

Hoping that it doesn't rain because otherwise you would get soaked, that you had no way to communicate with people that are far away from you and share your worries and happy moments.

How it would be if when you got home very tired you had no water to take a shower and had to go to bed hungry because there was no food on the table, and you didn't know what was happening on the rest of the world?

How would you feel if you had nobody to talk to, willing to do anything just to have somebody by your side, and needing to feel the warmth of people around you?

There are so many people around the world, like us, but have nothing and no one, people that have to walk wherever they go, people that would do anything just to have a loaf of bread to eat and some clothes to cover themselves. People that sleep out there under the rain and the only thing they can do is to pray for the rain to go away.
People that don't even understand or know what love is and can't even think of enjoying the good moments if any because their hunger and circumstances don't let them.

And you still think life is unfair to you......

Life is not only about studying and getting degrees and buying great cars and great houses, is not all about getting nice clothes and looking great.
Is about sharing and appreciating people and moments that can happen in a split of a second but can last for the rest of your life.

How many times have you thanked Him because your fridge is full of food? Food that sometimes you don't even eat and end up throwing away.
How many times have you thanked Him for the car you've got?
How many times have you thanked Him for your job? Because even when you don't like it that much you can still buy the things you need...thanks to your job.
How many times have you thanked Him for you health?

How many times have you told somebody that you love him?
How many times have you thanked him for something he did even when he didn't do it the way you do it?
How many times have you made something for somebody out of love, without expecting something in return?
How many times have you gone outside and stared at the light of the sun between the clouds, the sky, the trees and appreciated the wonders of the nature?
How many times have you stopped doing something just to go with that person, your child, your other half, and shared with him for a few minutes, and stared at him, and hugged him with your eyes closed?

How many times have you thanked God for your own life?

Time flies and you don't notice, you take for granted the people that are with you all the time, all the things you've got, things that you don't even need.

Unfortunately you can't stop time nor you can go back in time to fix or change things, and certainly you can't change people.

Many people think and believe that to have a meaningful and purposeful life is to get a career, have a wealthy living and become "somebody" in society, and to complement their life then they think of love and family. They dedicate most of the time to their job and trying to maintain their "good living", and if they have time left and are not too tired they spend time with their loved ones. They concentrate their lives so much in things that are just...material, that at the end of the road they find themselves lonely because they forgot about that special person, because they didn't care enough to appreciate what they had, and the saddest part is that most of the time when those people realize what they have missed, it's too late.

Jobs, houses, cars and everything else play an important part of your life, if you lose them you can still replace them, but if you lose somebody, you can't replace him or his love or the time lost, then you'll only have the memories…

Today when you get home, instead of saying you're tired and going straight to the bedroom, just put everything away and give a kiss and a hug to those you love, instead of complaining of something and pointing at them when they don't do things around the house, look at them and see who they are, appreciate what they do, if you know you hurt somebody let away that pride and say your sorry, forgive them for their mistakes for they're only human, like you. Tonight when you go to bed before going to sleep close your eyes and thank God for the day, because you got home alive, thank Him for everything you have. Tomorrow when you wake up before starting the day kiss again that person next to you even if he's still asleep, if you have kids go and tell them how much you love them and how important they are in your life, they'll appreciate more those few minutes with you knowing that they can count on you than the things you buy to them. During the day take at least one or two minutes to call that special someone just to say hi. Help your friends when they need somebody.

If you would only see the good things and cherish them more and care less about the negative things...life would be so different.

Life is so precious and full of material things, but without those people that share their lives with yours, it's empty.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow, I don't know if today will be the last day I'll see the light, I don't know if I will lose someone I love soon, I don't know If I will live until I'm old and see my grandchildren, all I know is that right now I'm alive and healthy and have people around me that in one way or another care about me and other people that are not with me but think about me, and to all those people I want to let them know that I care about them too, and that I love them. All I know is that right now I want to live my life to the fullest and enjoy every moment I can before is too late.

Sandra Falcon

"The Terminal"

"Your flight doesn't leave until 12:00 noon."
"What?!!!!" "Impossible!! It's supposed to depart at 9:00 o'clock in the morning" "Are you sure?"I ask.
"What's your destination again?"
"Texas, Laredo, Texas."
"I mean...your next destination." The guy asks me, he seems like he couldn't sleep well the night before and his tongue is too lazy to move to say a word.
"Oh, umm, Florida...Miami."
"Yes, it departs at 9:00, go and make that line to check up your luggage."

I go and take the luggage to the "check up" area, after that I go to make another line to get the tickets for my flight. My uncle is with me in the line, I get my tickets: "Good, reserved seats, I don't have to wait until the end to be seated at the airplane", I say. After I got my tickets I say good-bye to my uncle and my godmother and my cousin, I go inside the airport and get into another line to put on the table all the bags I'm carrying to be checked up through the monitors.

"The stroller Ma'am, you have to put it there, too."
"But, the baby's sleeping."
"You have to Ma'am." Says the lady in a firm voice.
"O.K."

I take the baby out of the stroller, he starts to cry.

"Your shoes Ma'am, you have to take them off."
"Oookay."

I go back, feeling tiny already after the way the lady talked to me and take off my shoes, I walk through the metal detector or whatever it's supposed to detect. I put my shoes on and put the baby back in the stroller, take all the bags and start walking what it seems to me like a mile to get to the terminal, I'm finally there, my daughter takes all her toys out of her bag and puts them on the seat and starts playing, the baby wants to get out of the stroller so I take him out.

8:30 A.M., the lady starts to call on the microphone the group of people to start boarding the plane. At the end of the hallway to the plane I have to take the baby out of the stroller and leave the stroller there. I take the thirty bags I've been carrying, actually about five: my purse, the baby's bag, my daughter's bag with all the toys plus another backpack with stuff inside that didn't fit in the luggage. Once inside the airplane I look for the tickets in my purse to check my seat number, I can't find them, I keep looking and looking, and looking, then I feel this huge pressure on my back, I look back and there's a line of people behind me waiting for me to move, they look at me and give me the fake smile, I keep looking and finally find the tickets and show them to the flight attendant and start walking through the narrow way between the seats.

"Oops." "Sorry." "Excuse me." "Sorry." "Oh, I'm sooo sorry Sr." I keep hitting with the bags all the people that are already seated, my daughter is reading the seats' numbers out loud while heading to our seats.

"Mom lets seat here."
"No Nicky those aren't our seats, keep walking."
"But Mommy, I want to seat here." She insists.
"Nicky, those are other's people seats!" "We can't seat there!!!" You can notice on my voice I'm getting stressed out and anxious to sit down so I don't have to see all the people faces staring at me.

We get to our seats; I still have the line of people behind me so I get out of the way and stand between the seat rows. The space between the rows is too narrow so I have to lean towards the back of my seat with all my bags still on my shoulders and carrying the baby at the same time and lowering my head because the bag compartment at the top is way to low so I can't stand up straight. I wait until all the people are sitting down so I can start putting away all my bags into the bag compartment, I open the first compartment, is full, the second compartment, full, the third compartment: "O.K. there's a space here", I say, I try to accommodate my bag all the ways possible but it doesn't fit in there. So I have to go back to my seat and put it under the seat along with my purse and Nicky's big stuffed bag that is about to explode.

"Aaaaahhhh" I sigh in relief as I sit down.
Already up in the sky my daughter's playing with her dolls and I'm trying to keep the baby distracted so he won't cry.

We get to Miami. At this airport you have to go through the "check-up" before going anywhere outside Miami, even though my bags where checked before I left Puerto Rico, so I have to go through all the process again, after that I check my next flight time, I go to the monitors they have at the hallway with all the flight numbers to see which gate we have to go, but my flight is not showing yet because it's too early. So I check my tickets to make sure of the departure time and I still have like 2 hours before the airplane leaves.
I go to Starbucks, "Mmm", my favorite place to have a nice hot coffee with a banana nut cake.
This is the place where a small coffee is a "tall" and a single piece of cake costs as much as a dozen powdered doughnuts at the supermarket.

"Shikinnnnnng" $$$$$$$$
$7.25 : Says the cashier.
"What!!!" I exclaim in my mind, "Geez!!" I pay.

As I'm seating down to have my coffee and my cake I look at my watch and realize it's already an hour before my next flight. Ok, so my "relaxing time" lasted about 5 minutes and I have to drink all my coffee as fast as I can, after all the darn cup cost me $4.00 so I can't take the luxury to waste it, and then almost run to the monitors to see which gate we have to go to catch up our next plane. I find out the gate number; then I have to walk 30 minutes, yes! 30 minutes to the gate, no train, no shuttle, no nothing to get there, the baby is extra happy since he doesn't have to walk that long, easy life, huh?! Nicky, ohhh, the poor thing is literally running with me and asking me every 2 minutes when are we going to get there.

"Phew". We finally get there, I make sure I'm at the correct gate and then I sit down on the floor with my daughter and start coloring with her in the coloring book she brought. About 15 minutes later I look at my watch and it's almost time to board the plane. I put everything back into the bag and into the stroller and when I get to the gate I see in the monitor that that airplane was heading to Las Vegas.

"Las Vegas?!" "W-what" "This must be wrong'. I go back to the monitors at the hallway and check my flight.

"Oh, peanuts!!!." Our flight has been delayed an hour and 30 minutes and the gate also changed. "Darn!!" I think. Since we have enough time now and Nicky's starving I decide to go to the food court. She sees the ice cream booth and asks me to buy her ice cream, I go and make the line and I ask the lady for a small cup of vanilla ice cream:

"Uté quiere otra cosa señora?" the lady asks me with a Cuban accent.
"Um, no, that'll be all" I answer back in English.

Then I think: "Oooyeme pero que cosa maj grannde caballero!!" You talk to them in English and they answer you back in Spanish, what's the deal?!

Then after Nicky finishes her ice cream, we start walking and she sees the pizza restaurant. "Mommy I want pizza, pleeease". I buy a piece of pizza for each of us, we finish eating and then we head to the gate where we were supposed to take the next plane. We're walking and walking and at the same time I'm reading the signs along the hallway trying to find the sign with my gate number, finally I see it, but I notice there is a line of people going through a "check-up" area.

"Excuse me Sr., my flight to Atlanta was delayed and the gate number changed but I already went through the check-up area when I got here, do I have to go through all that again?" I make emphasis on "all" and "again" hoping that he would have mercy on me and let me pass without going through the process. But as I thought the answer was a definite NO.

"Sshoot" I mumble. We finally get to the gate about 15 minutes before boarding time.
We get on board, here again the line of people behind me waiting for me to seat, the "Sorrys" and "Excuse me" an "Oooouch" here and there and the bad looks all the way to our seats.

Our flight from Puerto Rico to Miami was about 2 hours long, "piece of cake". This flight heads to Atlanta, Georgia, and it takes about 4 hours to get there, after this one we still need to take two more flights to Laredo and to top it all we are already an hour and 30 minutes delayed which means we are going to miss our next flight from Atlanta to Dallas, (I think and take a deep breath).

My daughter grabs her toys again to play and my baby falls asleep on my chest. I feel like we've been flying for 8 hours. Finally we get to Atlanta, you can see through the window it's really cold outside and also there are people wearing coats and mittens. O.K. so once again I check at the monitors to find out the new schedule for the next flight to Dallas...it has been delayed 2 hours.

"Whaaaaaaaaat!!!!!" I exclaim this time out loud in disbelief. "I can't believe this" I say. By this time I was very tired and feeling misserable.

When we get into the airplane and everybody is sitting down we wait for the airplane to take off. 5 minutes went by, then 10 minutes, 15 minutes, after 20 minutes the captain announces:

"Uhh, Ladies and Gentleman we just received a notice from the control tower that the weather conditions are not proper and we have to wait on land until the conditions improve, will be departing within 30 minutes, please remain seated, Thank You."

His voice sounded like that from a D.J. talking on the radio station.

30 minutes later the Captain goes again and announces that the situation hasn't improved at all and that we have to wait another 30 minutes.

We've already being seating in the airplane for an hour. I'm thirsty, sleepy and seating in this tiny seat next to this "gringo" that's so tall it seems like he's standing up when he's sitting down and his legs are so long he has to stretch one leg out on the hall way and the other one is resting on the wall in front of us blocking my way out, his arms are taking all the space on the arms' rest so I have to seat with my arms glued to my body. Our seats are in the row right behind the 1rst class area, and then I think: "these people are having Champaign and loafs of bread seating in their executive-like chairs chatting and laughing like they are having the best time...meanwhile we are all seating here in these uncomfortable tiny seats and thirsty and the flight attendant doesn't even care to offer us a drink!!", "Would you like something to drink Ma'am?"-the flight attendant interrupts my thoughts.
Finally after 2 hours waiting inside the airplane we take off.

Derek has been crying for the last hour during the flight and there I find myself making all the silly faces you can imagine to distract my baby and swinging him and singing to make him stop crying, nothing seems to work. It's already dark when we get to Dallas; I'm standing up in front of my seat with all the bags on my hand and the baby on my arms waiting for the people to get out of the plane so I can get out of there without having to say "sorry" or "excuse me". I'm facing backwards and looking at the people to see if anybody has the dignity to let me pass.

"Wanna pass?" A man asks in a sarcastic tone and then keeps walking.
"Oooh youuuu @#$@#$^$%^$^%" I think to myself. My face turns red and suddenly I feel like crying, but I'm not.

"O.K. so we are in Dallas, only one more flight and we are home." At least that's what I thought. Ha! Silly me...

My hair's a mess, my make up is all faded and I'm starving to death and I only got a few bucks on my wallet. Here we walk about 20 minutes to the next terminal, then take the shuttle to the next level of the airport which take us about 5 minutes, and then we walk for 10 more minutes and then we get to the terminal where I think I'm taking my last flight to Laredo, but...

"Um, excuse Ma'am, I'm heading to Laredo and my ticket says gate A2, is this the gate?" I'm seeing a sign that says 'Gate A', so obviously this wasn't it.

"No Ma'am, you have to take this shuttle and it will take you to the gate 'A2' "

So here we go again, another shuttle that goes all around outside the airport. Finally after 15 minutes we get to the terminal A2. All that without mentioning the stairs and elevators we've had taken to go to one level to the next.

"Mommy I'm hungry."

"You want some chips?" "There's a bending machine over there." I say.

When I get to the bending machine there's a bunch of guys with laptops on the floor right in front of the bending machine so I can't reach it, I go around them but no can do, I start walking through the empty spaces between the laptops, and the guys keep working on their machines and don't even bother to move one inch to the side so that I can walk through.
I get 2 packs of chips and a bottle of soda and go back and seat down right in front of the gate exit. I look at the monitor that displays the flight information and see that the plane is departing at 9:00 o'clock, it's 8 P.M.

Derek falls asleep in the stroller and Nicky's eating her chips. I seat and take off my shoes and lean back on the chair trying to find a comfortable position and start eating my Doritos.

I look at the monitor again and then I see that the time of the flight has changed, now is departing at 10 o'clock.

"Ay no!" "This is not happening to me, this is a nightmare!" I say.
Every time they changed the flight time people around me laughed out loud to let out their stress.
It's almost 10 o'clock, I look at the monitor and I see they change once again the departure time to 11 o'clock.

"This is a joke!" I say.

I felt like I was never going to get home. Finally at 11 o'clock I stand up and get prepared to be called to board the plane.

"May I have your attention please?" Says a lady over the microphone talking like if she was doing a commercial on TV. "Flight number 1234 to Laredo, Texas has been canceled, the next available flight is tomorrow at 12 noon, we are sorry for any inconvenience we may have caused you, Thank You".

Aaaauuuuuuuuuuughhh!!! I scream...in my mind.
"Yeah, right! That's easy for you to say since you're not the one who has been up since 4 o'clock in the morning, taken 3 airplanes, having all the flights delayed and having walked like 10 miles between gate and gate, and thinking that you were supposed to be at home like 3 hours ago but instead you're stuck in this airport until tomorrow with two kids!!!" Well, actually that was my mind talking.

"Oookay." So I'm seating there with my hands on my head looking down trying to figure out what I'm going to do. Then a man asks the people with registered luggage to make one line at "this side" and the rest who only have "carry-on" bags to make a line on the "other side".

There's a couple in front of me in the line and while the lady is checking in her computer for the next available flight they are making out right there, doing noises and giggling and laughing. "Get a room for Christ sake!!!!" I think. When it's my turn the other man attending in the counter asks me for my flight tickets, I hand them over to him, he starts checking in the computer, I'm waiting, then he makes a few calls and talks really low so I can't hear what he's saying over the phone, and expecting the worst he gives me 2 tickets for me and Nicky with reserved seats at a flight to Laredo that departs the next morning at 9 A.M., then he gives 2 more tickets, one of a free over-night stay at a hotel and the other one with a free breakfast and 1 free meal at the airport. "Oh my God!!!", "Thank you, thank you, thank you so much." I just can't stop saying, I almost hug him and my eyes get watery. So he explains to me where I have to go to wait for the cab that the hotel sent to pick me up.

I call my husband and tell him all about what happened. Then I go and take a shuttle back to gate where I'm supposed to wait for the cab.

In the shuttle a nice woman offers me her blanket because she's not going to use it anymore. I say:

"No, no, keep it, thank you, don't worry"
"Here, take it!" She insists.
"No, really, don't worry".

I get to the gate and I seat there on the floor, it's already 12 midnight, Derek's still sleeping in the stroller and Nicky crawls to my lap and lies there in fetal position. It's really cold and there are hundreds of bugs out there biting me and I am hungry. An hour goes by, and nothing, during all this time I'm seeing these two guys on wheel chairs going across the street back and forth, "Are they just bored or do they really wanna get hit by a car?" I think. I wake up Nicky and go inside to use a phone to call the hotel to see what's happening with the cab. The call never went through, so I go outside again.

I see the wheel chairs empty and within a second the two guys come walking from inside and seat on the chairs again. My stomach's growling really loud, then this two young people pass me by, then come back towards me and offer me a drink from Starbucks that was left with few other things after they closed the store. "Ooooooooooh" I hear the celestial choir from the angels. I take the bottle and in 2 seconds the liquid is gone. I wait for 2 hours there, I can't take it anymore so I decide to go back inside and spend the night in the airport.

"Sr. do I have to go through the "check up" to go back inside, I just came through there a few hours ago" I ask this old man with twisted eyes so I'm not sure if he's looking at me or the people behind me.

"You have to go through gate D, that's the only gate open at this time to go inside." He tells me.
"But that's the "check up" area" "Is there any other open gate?" (Hello! He just told me that's the only open gate at this time, but I'm just refusing to process the information..)

"NO!" Says the old man.

Right there I brake down and cry like a baby, Nicky is frustrated because she's tired and wants to sleep so she tells me to stay at the airport and sleep there like the rest of the people. And I'm like "No, no, no, no". After about 5 minutes sobbing I compose myself and start walking to the gate D, I have to take Derek out of the stroller and instantly he wakes up. We walk for about 15 minutes, "I want to be near the gate tomorrow morning when I wake up" I say to myself, but when I get to the elevator and to the next level I find out that I have to take a shuttle back to the gate I need to go. So "never mind" I say. "Lets stay and sleep right here".

I take a look at the place and it looks like a refuge with people sleeping in every corner. I search for a"nice" corner and I go sit down by a column, the poor baby is like ice so I take out of the bag a T-shirt and cover him, Nicky lies down on my lap and I cover her with a small blanket. Me, well I'm freezing and then I think how stupid I was for not taking the blanket from that woman on the shuttle so I wouldn't be here freezing to death and not been able to sleep. Right away I feel like a vagabond putting all the bags around me to see if I can get a bit warm, not working! I lean over Nicky trying to warm my body by being really close to her, not working either, but anyways I stay like that and close my eyes and try to sleep. After a looong while suddenly I feel something that falls from the sky over my back, "Ooooooohh" I hear the celestial choir from the angels again, it was a blanket!!!! I look up and I see a man putting the blanket over me.

"Oh thank you so much Sr." I say

It's almost 5 o'clock in the morning Nicky's still sleeping on my lap and I can't feel my butt or my legs. Derek wakes up and starts walking around wearing the huge T-Shirt. I put Nicky on the floor and go to the food store that just opened in front of us, I ask for a small cup of coffee which of course is as big as a big soda from McDonalds, and a sandwich. I go back and sit on the floor and start enjoying my breakfast, I eat half of the sandwich and I'm trying to drink my coffee but Derek is running around back and forth and I have to go after him every 3 seconds, I take a few more sips of my hot drink and throw away the rest of it in the trash can. I wake up Nicky and we head up to the gate...

"Ahhhhh, finally, we are almost home." I say.

At the gate, the kids fall asleep again, and I put my blanket over the baby, Nicky's using her blanket, I seat on the chair with my feet on the seat and my arms around my legs and I rest my head on my knees, my head starts to swing from side to side, I'm falling asleep. Finally I fall asleep and suddenly I wake up because I was about to fall off out of the chair and when I open my eyes the place is full people and half of them are staring at me, my face turns red and I feel a burning sensation on my ears. I'm pretty cold and a woman notices that and offers me her blanket, this time I accept without thinking, then after a while I notice she's getting cold and I'm thinking of giving back her blanket.

"Naaah" "I'm keeping it!!!" I think. "I'm really sorry, really." I convince myself.

It's almost time to depart and like 10 minutes before boarding time they announce that the flight has been delayed 40 minutes and that the next flight is leaving at 9:40, and, that the gate changed, good thing the new gate was right next to this one. So we move to next gate and sit there, and yes, just as you're thinking right now, the flight is delayed again 50 more minutes, now is departing at 10:30. And the gate is a different one, so you keep seeing all these people, including us, moving from gate to gate like nomads. At 10:30 the lady announces on the microphone that the captains that are supposed to fly this airplane aren't here yet so we have to wait until they get here. "Qué pán-talones ah!!!" I think.
And again they announce that since the captains haven't arrived yet that the flight is departing now at 11:00 A.M. I have to laugh, "This is unbelievable!!!" Well, so about 10 minutes before 11:00 I go to the pay phone and try to call my husband to let him know I was getting home by noon, I deposit .50 cents and start dialing, then I hear the machine saying: "Please deposit .50 cents, if this is a long distance call, blah, blah, blah", and then I hear the lady saying something on the microphone so I hang up right away and run to the gate, I don't want to miss this flight.

Finally we get into the tiny airplane, only 9 people are in it and there are like 4 empty seats, so the flight attendant suggests me to sit in the front seat so it's easier for me to accommodate with the kids, 30 seconds after I sit down I have to move out because these people that appeared out of nowhere tell me those are their seats. I move to the back seats and sit down. When the airplane takes off Nicky starts pushing the front seat with her feet and the guy seating there looks back and gives me "the look". An hour later I get to the airport at Laredo and there I call my husband from a payphone, he was going crazy since I couldn't call him earlier to tell him when I was getting there so he had no idea where I was, he told me he called his sister who got me the tickets in the first place, that he was about to fly to Dallas that morning, (imagine that, him flying to Dallas at same time I was flying to Laredo), but her sister convinced him not to, so then she called her friend at the travel agency who then called the airport to find out if I was still in Dallas or not. "Ufff" But thank God they found out that I was already on my way to Laredo.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh" I got home and kissed the floor, and I wanted to stay there and not move a finger for the next 10 hours!!!!!!!

A minute later I was feeding the baby, then bathing the kids, then....haaaa yes, back to life!


"The Terminal"

Sandra

The Perfect Father

When I came into the world You where there, You kept me safe on my way home, I did not know You then but You already knew who I was and the kind of person I was going to be. You made sure there were people around me to watch over me, You caught me whenever I fell to make my fall less painful.

I saw myself forced to grow up faster than others, most of the time learning things the hard way, loneliness was my companion. Many times I questioned you about my life and why I had to suffer and felt so unhappy, I was lost walking on a long road with blurry sights, trying to look back searching for answers to my questions but all I found was faded memories of my past. I didn't know where to go or what to look for or who to look after but all that time You were there, waiting for me to reach for You, I passed You by.

I ran through life with my eyes covered, sometimes ending up where I began and falling on the ground feeling the thorns piercing my heart, I looked everywhere and wondered where were You but never found You, I was looking in the wrong places, from far away You were watching. You tried to show me an easier way but I didn't let myself see it, You tried to tell me which way to go, but I didn't listen, You put people on my life with a purpose, but I ignored them, You sent me signs with important messages but I was looking the other way, I missed them. I felt a great emptiness within me and cried night by night sometimes not knowing why.

One day in the place I less expected I found You, God, in my heart. You've taken away all the tears and rinsed my soul with them, you helped me clear out my mind and made me understand the simplicity of life and yet the perfection of it, and for the first time my sight was not blurry, the thorns were vanishing one by one, little by little You were taking them all out of my heart. For the first time I closed my eyes and I still could see the "road" and started to walk on a still strong path, there were no rocks in the way, a colorful view surrounded the entire place and I just couldn't stop smiling; I became a stronger person, I found happiness.

Now I'm confident that whenever I feel sad you'll be there to comfort me, when I need an answer I just have to ask You, when I need advice I can count on Your Wisdom, whenever I find myself in weakness, become vulnerable and make mistakes I know that I could learn from them and turn them to Good.

Now I understand that it was You who kept me from falling apart, that all those dark lonely nights You were there watching my back, that no matter how far I pushed You away You never forgot about me.

You have always respected me and still do, You care about me, You are strict and firm but still can be gentle and comprehensive, You are faithful.

I thank You for all I've got, for all I've conquered in life, for all the experiences I've gone through, they have made me the person I am. Now I know an easier way, now I know which way to go, I've got someone to look after.

You are my strength, You are in my thoughts wherever I go, You are everything I need...

You are the Perfect Father.

Sandra Falcón (2004)

Carta de un hijo a todos los padres del mundo

"No me des todo lo que te pida. A veces pido para ver hasta cuanto puedo coger." "No me des siempre órdenes. Si en vez de órdenes a veces me pidieras las cosas yo lo haría más rápido y con más gusto." "No cambies de opinión tan seguido sobre lo que debo hacer. Decídete y mantén tu decisión." "Cumple tus promesas, buenas o malas. Si me prometes un premio, dámelo; pero también si me prometes un castigo." "No me compares con nadie, especialmente con mis hermanos. Si tú me haces lucir mejor que los demás, alguien va a sufrir; y si me haces lucir peor que los demás, sere yo quien sufra." "No me grites. Te respeto menos cuando lo haces y me enseñas a gritar también, y yo no quiero hacerlo." "Déjame valerme por mi mismo. Si tú haces todo por mí yo nunca podré aprender." "No digas mentiras delante de mi, ni me pidas que las diga por ti, aunque sea para sacarte de un apuro. Me haces sentir mal y perder la fe en lo que me dices." "Cuando hago algo malo, no me exijas que te diga por qué lo hize. A veces ni yo mismo lo sé." "Cuando estés equivocado en algo, admítelo y crecerá la opinion que tengo de ti. Asi me enseñas a que admita mis equivocaciones también." "Trátame con la misma amabilidad y cordiabilidad con que tratas a tus amigos, que por ser familia no se nos impide ser amigos." "No me digas una cosa y tú no la haces. Yo aprenderé mejor con lo que tú haces, aunque no lo digas, que con lo que dices y no haces." "Cuando te cuente uno de mis problemas, no me digas: "No tengo tiempo para tus boberías", o "eso no tiene importancia." Trata de comprenderme y ayudarme. Enseñame a buscar lo que Dios quisiera en esa situación." "QUIEREME Y DIMELO, A MI ME GUSTA OIRTELO DECIR, AUNQUE TU NO CREAS NECESARIO DECIRMELO." Anónimo

Fácil y Difícil

Fácil es ocupar un lugar en la agenda telefónica. Difícil es ocupar el corazón de alguien...

Fácil es herir a quien nos ama. Difícil es curar esa herida...

Fácil es dictar reglas. Difícil es seguirlas...

Fácil es soñar todas las noches. Difícil es luchar por un sueño...

Fácil es exhibir la victoria. Difícil es asumir la derrota con dignidad...

Fácil es admirar una luna llena. Difícil es ver su otra cara...

Fácil es tropezar con una piedra. Difícil es levantarse...

Fácil es disfrutar todos los días. Difícil es darle el verdadero valor...

Fácil es orar todas las noches. Difícil es encontrar a Dios en las cosas pequeñas...

Fácil es prometerle algo a alguien. Difícil es cumplirle esa promesa...

Fácil es decir que amamos. Difícil es demostralo todos los días...

Fácil es criticar a los demás. Difícil es mejorar uno mismo...

Fácil es cometer errores. Difícil es aprender de ellos...

Fácil es llorar por el amor perdido. Difícil es cuidarlo para no perderlo...

Fácil es pensar en mejorar. Difícil es dejar de pensarlo y realmente hacerlo...

Es un día precioso para estar vivo!!!

Remembering Friendship

Nicky and Amanda

Remembering
Is the heart's own way
Of holding loved ones close
And keeping us
In constant touch
With those
Who mean the most.
Remembering
Is the heart's own way
Of sending loving thoughts today!

A friend is someone we turn to
When our spirits need a lift,
A friend is someone we treasure
For true friendship is a gift.
A friend is someone we laugh with
Over little personal things,
A friend is someone we're serious with
In facing whatever life brings.
A friend is someone who fills our lives
With beauty and joy and grace
And makes the world that we live in
A better and happier place!

Oración

Dios mío, permíteme aclarar mi mente, borra de mí todo aquello que me obstaculiza para alcanzar lo que deseo.

Hay momentos en los que me siento tan segura de lo que quiero, y otros en los que me inundo toda de confusión. Te pido me des fuerzas para seguir adelante, para ser una buena persona, una buena esposa, una buena madre.

Señor, sé que no te hablo ni te invoco con frecuencia, pero creo en Ti. Creo en Ti cuando la observo cada día, en su perfecta salud, cuando le hablo y me mira a los ojos, cuando responde mi sonrisa, cuando escucho su llanto porque me necesita, un ser tan indefenso que es capaz de llenarme de amor.

Permíteme realizarme para poder darle todo cuanto necesite, ilumina mis pensamientos para ser una persona firme.

Concédeme la libertad de amarlo sin condiciones, de darme entera en cada entrega. Ayudame a eliminar toda roca que pueda existir en mi camino, en mi camino hacia Ti.

Dos amores tan inmesos, tan iguales, tan diferentes a la vez. Son los amores que me motivan a vivir cada día plenamente. Amores a los que me entrego cada minuto del día.
Dos amores a los que nunca quiero perder.

Señor, perdóname por los momentos que te fallé, por la veces que dudé de Ti. Tú me haz dado lo que toda mujer podría anhelar, una familia. Permite que este amor se engrandezca cada día más y nunca muera.

Amén.

By Sandra Falcón (1999)


Live your life today, tomorrow may be too late.

Whisper Jesus

Today I got a burden
And I felt that I should pray
For God's spirit seemed to tell me
That you were having a bad day.

I don't know just what the problem is,
But I sure do know the cure,
And if you'll only let Him,
God will keep you safe and sure.

In life there's always problems
Cropping up to spoil your day,
But my friend, you know the answer,
All you have to do is pray.

If you still feel you're defeated,
And you want to run and hide,
Just reach out and He'll be there,
Standing right there by your side.

So remember...whisper Jesus,
For He's just a prayer away,
He's so close that you can touch Him,
All you have to do is pray!

Author unknown

Un nuevo amor

To Derek and Nicky Hoy es un día especial, pues celebro la vida de esa criatura que en algún momento llegó a mi vida para hacerme felíz. En aquel entonces me preguntaba qué iba a ser de mi vida, qué iba a ser de todo aquello que quería hacer. Todo cambió en un segundo. Ya no soy la misma mujer independiente que solía ser antes.

Pensaba cómo iba a ser esa criatura, su pelo, sus ojos, su piel, cómo sería su voz, su personalidad. Pensaba en el futuro incierto que me esperaba.

Desde el primer segundo de vida ya dependía de mí, para alimentarse, para respirar, para sentir, para vivir. Todos mis sentimientos los compartía con alguien a quien aún no conocía, le hablaba a alguien que aún no sabía mi lenguaje.

Descubrí un nuevo amor, espontáneo y puro, un amor distinto. Comprendí por primera vez ese amor maternal que no he tenido desde que nací. Comenzé a sentir a Dios más cerca de mí, lo sentí dentro de mí, con cada latido, con cada movimiento. Pienso cuan perfecta es la naturaleza que es capaz de producir todo aquello que necesita para existir, doy por cierto la existencia de ese Ente Inmenso que me dió la grandeza de vivir y dar vida.

Pensaba entonces qué sucedería conmigo, con mi cuerpo, con mi forma de ser, de pensar, de ver las cosas, cómo sería mi forma de entender, comprender, amar. Poco a poco he encontrado las respuestas. Veo ahora desde otra perspectiva, soy más racional, más madura, más mujer.

Pienso en lo increíble de esa metamorfósis, cómo una simple e insignificante célula pudo convertirse en alguien tan importante, un ser que se fué formando de cada parte de mí, de lo que soy. Obervaba la perfección de la vida en ese ser tan vulnerable que aún depende de mí.

Todavía recuerdo cuando su corazón latía fuerte y constante, latía muy rápido, sus ojitos parecían estar dormidos todo el tiempo, sus pequeños y frágiles brazos parecían estar inmóbiles abrazando su cuerpecito, sus deditos eran tan pequeños que apenas le alcanzarían para agarrar los míos. Parecía que entendía mis sentimientos, cuando reía, cuando lloraba, cuando estaba enojada. Muchas veces me preguntaba si me escuchaba, si me sentía.

Me asaltaron las dudas, los miedos, pero nunca estuve sola, me acompañaba a donde quiera que iba, incluso en mis sueños. Entonces estaba ansiosa por la llegada de ese ser a su nuevo mundo, ese momento en que nos tocamos por primera vez, que nos vimos por primera vez, ese momento tan crucial en mi vida en que la tomé en mis brazos y la sentí. Me llené de tanto amor que olvidé mi cansancio, no quería dejar de observarla, cuando respiraba, cuando dormía, cuando al despertar me miraba tratando de decirme algo, ese algo que sólo yo puedo entender.

Mi vida ahora es una llena de emociones, cuando me sonrió por primera vez, cuando hizo su primera expresión; cuando me dijo "mamá" por primera vez no sabía si reir o llorar. Cuando volví a abrir mis ojos ya estaba dando sus primeros pasos, ahora es una persona con total personalidad. Cada día que pasa me doy cuenta cuan valioso es el tiempo, que debo vivir cada segundo de mi vida, cada segundo de su vida.

Le doy gracias a Dios por haberme dado el privilegio de darle vida a un ser, llenandome a la vez de más vida, de haberme permitido poder amar sin medidas.

Le doy gracias a Dios cada segundo que pasa por la vida de mi hija, y por haberme dado la oportunidad de verla crecer y vivir.

Le doy gracias por haberme brindado la dicha de ser... Mamá!

Sandra Falcón (2000)

Before I was a mom

"I don't know the person who wrote this, I don't know anything about her, but even so we share so much in common, I received this E-mail some time ago and it brought me back to that very moment when I held each of my kids for the first time. Sit back and enjoy!". Sandra Falcon

I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about
how late I
got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth
everyday.
Before I was a Mom -
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a
lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were
poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Spit on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom -
I never held down a screaming child So that doctors
could do
tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby
sleep.
Before I was a Mom -
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't
want to put
it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I
couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my
life so
much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside
my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a
hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her
child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me
feel so
important and happy.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10
minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
The joy,
The love,
The heartache,
The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much
before I was a
Mom.

Send this to someone whom you think is a special Mom
or Grandma.
I just did. And remember that behind every
successful mother......
is a basket of dirty laundry

Edda & Fabrizio Enrique

Por qué somos como somos?

Luego de recoger a mi hija...
mientras voy en el auto hacia mi hogar veo al méndigo pidiendo dinero, un muchacho jóven, tan jóven como aquel que acaba de graduarse de escuela superior, con los pies descalzos, la ropa bastante sucia, me mira y menea el vasito, muevo mi cabeza de lado a lado diciendo que no. Luego miro hacia al frente y veo un carro que se "come" la luz roja, y muevo mi cabeza de la misma manera que le hice al mendigo y pienso: "Esta gente no se quiere!". Sigo mi camino y me detengo en la próxima luz roja, veo para el lado..un niño saltando en el asiento de al frente del carro.

Cuando voy llegando a mi casa, un grupo de chicos recostados en sus carros y se me quedan mirando como si nunca hubiesen visto a una mujer en su corta vida. Finalmente llego a mi casa y las ventanas retumban al ritmo del reggetón del vecino.

Enciendo el televisor y todo lo que se ve es violencia, sexo, infidelidad....

Después de la cena lavo los platos, baño a mi hija y la acuesto a dormir, termina mi día.

Ya amaneció, de camino al trabajo veo al vendedor de periódicos, trabajando de pie, bajo el sol, y a veces bajo lluvia pa' ganarse "dos o tres pesos". Nadie quiere darme paso! Carros viajando en direccion contraria para esquivar el tapón, ni un policía a la vista. Finalmente llego al trabajo, saludo: "Buenos Días", "Hola", "Cómo estas?". Llego a mi escritorio, en el periódico: "Suman 6 accidentes de automóbil cobrando la vida de personas en el día de ayer", "Hombre se suicida luego de matar a su esposa y a su amante", "Niño fue encontrado muerto con múltiples hematomas", concierto de artista famoso..."Fraude en compañía conocida", "Incautan $10,0000 dólares en drogas".......etc, etc.

En la oficina, aquella persona en el teléfono se sonríe, estará enamorá, otra leyendo el periódico y opinando en voz alta, a quién le estará hablando? Otra persona trabajando como si tuviera que sacar el trabajo de dos días en dos horas. El día transcurre, personas hablan en voz baja para que no les escuchen, veo caras tristes y serias, otras caras que parecen estar siempre alegres. Personas tomando café para liberar el "E-trés", el otro empleado quejándose porque el papel se quedó pillado en la copiadora. Al final del día una multitud de empleados en la salida, listos para ponchar, afuera en el "parking" todo el mundo "arranca" en el carro como si le fueran a pagar al que llegue primero a su casa.

Y en la calle otra vez el méndigo pidiendo dinero, el que se come la luz....

En qué mundo estamos viviendo?

Oyes a aquella persona decirle a su hijo que lo ama y le da un abrazo y cuando se monta en el carro acelera "sin encomendarse a nadie", y su hijo en el asiento de atrás. Hay quienes le dice a la gente que no fumen porque les hace daño y cuando llega el fin de semana intoxican su cuerpo con alcohol. Otros te dicen que organizes tu vida y su casa esta "patas arriba", cuantas mujeres hablan de que no pueden pagar el teléfono pero "se hacen" las uñas o van al "beauty" a pasarse el "blower" todos los meses. Otros hablan de que no tienen en "qué caerse muertos" pero no salen del "mall". Mucha gente te dice que vivas el dia a dia, otros te dicen que tengas presente el futuro. Un niño casi no puede caminar por su peso, fatigado avanza a sentarse en una silla, Hm! y después su madre dice que "es que su hijo es grande y tosco", y luego la oyes hablando sorprendida ante el maltrato de los niños.

Estamos tan metidos en la rutina diaria que a veces no le damos importancia a lo que pasa a nuestro alrededor, al crimen, al maltrato, la injusticia, tanta maldad. Por qué insistimos en llevar este estilo de vida?, por qué no mejor tratar de vivir haciendo el "Bien", nos sentiriamos mucho mejor si nos levantáramos todos los días y pensaramos: "Hoy voy a tratar de hacer las cosas bien y de ser un buen ser humano, mejor que ayer". Cuantas personas han vivido la vida trabajando para sus ambiciones materiales, y olvidan vivir el presente, cuando realizan cuanto tiempo han perdido ya es demasiado tarde.

Por que no montarnos en el carro y guiar con calma, ser cortés, sin "cañonear", si total, a fin de cuentas la prisa nos puede costar la vida. Llegar al trabajo y dedicarnos a lo nuestro sin importarnos lo que hacen los demás, sin envidias, sin rencores, vivir nuestra vida. Y luego dedicarnos a nuestro hogar, a nuestra familia. Enseñarles a nuestros hijos valores, a no tener miedo de ser débil, de no estar orgulloso de ser "fuerte", a reírse si tiene ganas, a llorar si siente el deseo, de no sentirse avergonzado de expresar sus sentimientos, a ganarse las cosas antes de recibirlas, a que luche por las cosas, no se lo des todo. Por qué no mejor callar cuando las críticas negativas quieran salir a flote.

Con cuanta frecuencia nos quejamos de la vida que llevamos? tan "ajorá", porque el teléfono en la oficina no para de sonar, porque a la hora de salir esta lloviendo, porque tienes que ir corriendo a buscar a los hijos, porque mira la hora que es y no has podido comer.

Con cuanta frecuencia le damos gracias a Dios? Porque tenemos un carro en qué movernos, porque vivimos bajo techo que nos protege del sol y la lluvia, porque podemos comer todos los días, aunque no tengamos hambre, porque gozamos de buena salud y podemos trabajar, porque tenemos variedad de diversiones para no aburrirnos.

Con cuanta frecuencia le agradecemos a Dios por la vida misma?

Y todavia me pregunto...

Por qué somos como somos?

By Sandra Falcon

A new love

Today is a special day, since I'm celebrating the life of that being that came into my life filling me with happiness. Back then I asked myself how my life was going to be. Everything changed in a second, I wasn't that independent woman anymore.

I imagined how she was going to look like, her hair, her eyes, her skin, her voice, her personality. I thought of the uncertain future that was awaiting me.

From the first second of life she needed me, to breath, to feel, to live. All of my feelings I was sharing them with someone who I did not know yet, I was talking to somebody who didn't know my language.

I discovered a new way love, a love that's spontaneous, pure, a love that's different. I understood for the first time that maternal love I never had. I started to feel God nearer me, I felt Him inside me, with every heartbeat, with every movement. I thought of how perfect nature can be that is capable of producing everything it needs; I'm certain now of the existence of that Immense Entity that gave me the greatness of life and bringing life.

I thought then what would happen to me, to my body, to my way of thinking, to my point of view, what would happen to my way of understanding things, of my way of loving. Little by little I've been finding the answers, now I see through a different point of view, I'm more rational, more mature, more Woman.

I think of how unbelievable is that metamorphosis, how a simple cell turned into some body so important, a being that got formed from every part of me, of what I am. I stared at her perfection, a being so vulnerable that still depended on me.

I still remember her heartbeat, so strong, so fast, her tiny eyes that seemed asleep all the time, her tiny and fragile arms embracing her body, her little fingers that could barely hold mine. She seemed to understand my feelings, when I smiled, when I cried, when I was angry. Many times I asked myself if she could hear, if she could feel me.

Doubts and fear came to my life, but I was never alone. She was with me everywhere I went, even in my dreams. Then I was anxious for her arrival to her new world, that moment when we touched for the first time, when we saw each other the first time, that moment so important when I held her in my arms. I was filled with so much love that I forgot about my weariness. I wanted to stare at her all day, when she was breathing, when she was sleeping, when she woke up and looked at me as if trying to tell me something, that something that only I could understand.

My life is now one filled with emotions, when she smiled for the first time, when she made her first expresion, when she said "Mom" the first time I didn't know if to cry or laugh, when I opened my eyes again she was already walking, she had now complete personality. Each day I realized how valuable is time.

I thank God for giving me the privilege of bringing life filling me at the same time with more life, for giving me the opportunity of loving without limits.

I thank God each second for the life of my daughter, for giving me the chance of watching her grow up and live.

I thank Him for giving me the joy of being a Mother.

By Sandra Falcon

Mother's day

Dedicated to Nilda and Linnette
I remember one day at the gift shop with my husband, we were browsing through the thousand greeting cards to buy one for his mother on Mother's Day, when he said: "There's the Mother's Day, the Father's Day, but, when is the Son/Daughter's Day?" And a man walking by answered him: "EVERY DAY".

Do you remember that night when you learned you were pregnant, you felt joy and yet fear, and you started to wonder how your life would be? A new life was growing inside you, a new life that changed yours forever. Soon that child came into the world, filling your heart with happiness, that moment when you held him for the first time, you saw his eyes looking everywhere as if wondering where he was, then staring at you with so much tenderness, you discovered a new way of love.

Now your days were longer, the nights shorter, the room was filled with the sound of a crying baby, a human being so tiny, so fragile, so perfect...that little hand grabbing your finger, holding it really tight, you liked to smell his hair, his unique scent, to caress his skin so soft, you enjoyed staring at him when he was asleep, you were in love again.

Time went by so quickly you can barely remember the day he made his first steps. Oh!, but you can't forget when you burst into tears when you heard him saying "Mommy" for the first time. That day when he came from school and gave you the first card made from scratch by him, you felt so proud.

That child needed you more than anybody, when he felt hunger you fed him, when he was cold you covered him with you arms, when he was sad you comforted him and gave him advice, when he was bored you used your imagination to come up with new ideas to play with him, you became a child yourself to keep him happy, in every step of the way, you were there.

Your child means everything to you, now you know how much you mean to your mother, and you understand what she went through to keep you healthy, strong, to make you happy.

Even though I never had the love of a Mother, I'm grateful that God gave me the privilege of becoming one. He has given me the opportunity of enjoying the more precious and biggest gift someone can ever have, a child.

When I look back and remember that day at the gift shop, I smile, that man was right, you celebrate the life of your child EVERY DAY.

By Sandra Falcon (2004)

The times that we live in

The paradox of our time in history is that
We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers;
Wider freeways, But narrower viewpoints;
We spend more, but have less,We buy more, but enjoy less...
We have bigger houses and smaller families;
More conveniences, but less time;
We have more degrees, but less sense;
More knowledge, but less judgments;
More experts but more problems;
More medicine, but less wellness...
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values
We talk too much, love seldom, and hate often...
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life;
We've added years to life, but not to years...
We've been all the way to the moon and back
But have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor;
We've conquered outer space, but not inner space;
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul;
We've split the atom, but not our prejudice...
We've higher incomes, but lower morals;
We've become long on quantity, but short on quality...
These are the times of tall men, but short character;
Steep profits, and shallow relationships...
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare;
More leisure, but less fun;
More kinds of food, but less nutrition...
These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce;
Of fancier houses, but broken homes...
It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom;
A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and the time when you can choose either to make a difference or to just hit delete.....

Author Unknown

Rumbos

Es increíble cómo cambia la vida, antes siempre me veía sola, con personajes imaginarios producto de mi infantil mente, solo la figura paterna presente en mi hogar, sin embargo, así era mi vida, "normal". Ahora que comparto mis sentimientos, mis preocupaciones, mis alegrías, mi todo con él, me aterra el hecho de poder quedarme sola.
El es para mí todo lo que tengo, mi razón de ser, el motivo de mi felicidad, y así será hasta que la muerte nos separe.

Ahora todo es tan diferente, más aún que este pequeño ser viene a nuestras vidas, es asombroso la perfección de esta creación, cómo algo que comienza siendo tan insignificante puede después llenar tanto de amor al corazón.

Cómo será mi vida? Qué nuevos rumbos tomará? Trato de imaginarla, no puedo dejar de pensar en ella, en esa criatura que ya siento que amo, que vive dentro de mí.

Es en estos momentos que más pienso en ti, Mamá. Dónde estarás, qué cosas pasaban por tu mente cuando yo estaba dentro de ti. Por qué me dejaste ir? Aún recuerdo tu voz aquel día al otro lado del teléfono, tus palabras, entonces yo era tan solo una niña.

Ahora ya soy toda una mujer, con una familia, una familia con la que soñaba mucho tiempo atrás. Este es el regalo más grande que me ha podido dar Dios, ese Ente que por ratos olvido que existe, mientras que El no se ha olvidado de mi colocando a estas personas en mi vida. Dándome esa felicidad que tanto buscaba.

No importa lo que suceda, yo les daré a mi amado esposo y a mis hijos todo de mi, toda mi vida, todo aquello que no recibí, respeto y amor sincero.

By Sandra Falcón (1998)